Battle in my head

I'm really lonely. People don't understand and I can't relate to them. I feel like I'm not accepted as I am. I feel really fucking ditched. I know people don't mean to make me feel that way, its just me. Corey is moving back to Ontario. Besides him, I have Joann and Matt here. I haven't hung out with Joann in a month. We were supposed to hang out a couple of times but it didn't work out. I gained a few pounds and I feel so fat, I look like a cow. Fuck. And my educational phys ed class is full of skinny bitches and they are so pretty. I just want to disappear. I feel so FAT. Anyone reading this blog will probably not understand and will think I am exaggerating. Does anyone understand? Fuck.

Lonely

I don't really have much to say. I'm just fucking lonely. FUCK

My silent scream

I can't take it anymore
I want to grab a knife
Slide it across my wrist
Watch the blood
Cool and comforting
Form a line
Over and over again

Maybe seven times
Maybe eight
Or nine
As many as it takes

I need release
I am screaming inside
Overwhelmed
With sadness
And loneliness
And anger

I need to bleed
I need my drugs
My release
My silent scream