After all is said and done

Even though everything has already been said, I feel like there is more to say. I guess I haven't written in a long time. I'm talking about the breakup. I still feel so much anger inside. Every night is hard for me. Looking back, I guess there are some things in our relationship that I was and still am bitter about. Like, does he even understand how bad he hurt me? I get so angry sometimes I want to beat him up. But then I see him and I just melt. How could I be angry at him? There's so much to say but he's just such a nice guy I don't want to hurt his feelings and I feel like I can't even write it here because Jay will be reading this. I don't know why I keep going over this, it's been too damn months. But then again we were fucking for 2 weeks of that and having sleepovers for another week or 2. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've gone over it and over it so many times but I still feel the need to talk about what happened. There's so much I want to say but even writing this is making me angry as fuck so that's enough for tonight.