Too much to handle

Am I too much to handle? Because that's the impression I'm getting. I have been spending most of my time in my room alone lately. Why? Because who else do I have to hang out with? I thought being on the realm all the time was making me withdrawn from real life. But maybe I'm BEING pushed away.

This morning I came out of my room and my roommate was sitting at the computer singing along a lil bit with her music. I'd never really heard her sing before. I asked "do you like singing?".....4 words. And she responded "Karin I can't handle this right now." Yeah I've been getting that a lot lately. I come out of my room for the first time in hours and I say a few words and all of a sudden I'm too fucking much to handle. Its my house too you know. I shouldn't feel like I am intruding just by coming out of my room. Am I not worthy enough to talk to people?

The other day, she was in the kitchen with her friend. I said hi and started talking a bit to them. Julia said "Karin we are busy right now"...right once again too busy to talk to me. And then Laura came home and they were all talking and laughing for at least half an hour. Why is it an imposition when I say hi but then when Laura comes in she's welcomed and invited to join?!?!?!?!

Am I really so hard to deal with?!?!?!?! To say I don't feel hurt would be a lie. I get treated this way a lot. People used to call me to see if I wanted to hang out. Not anymore. People used to return my calls...not anymore. My friend Amanda is always on facebook but never talks to me....never responds to my texts or messages.

And yesterday I called my mom at work. Just to say hi. Because she likes that. But she got annoyed and didn't want to talk to me. I guess I bothered her at work. But usually she's cool with that. Even SHE didn't call me back when she got home.

I don't know why but I'm really upset. I feel really hurt. I am just screaming inside. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!